The answers people gave me were very honest and they opened a part of themselves for me to see that I didn't expect. The fear of being judged out weighed the benefits of helping a friend. (ME!) I was moved by the emotion I read and heard in some of the answers . Each person I asked is different Some only have 1 child and some are raising a neighborhood of kids. Some are stay at home parents and some work 12 hour shifts. Some have small children and some have grand children. Some are financially stable and some struggle every day .. The one thing each one of them had in common is They all love the children in their lives.
- 1. Do you worry if you are being a good parent?
Every single day of my life, but my mother reassures me that means I am a good parent. I second guess everything as for some reason, my brood did not come with instructions. It does get easier as they get older, even though it also gets more difficult."
"No I do not worry about being a good parent, I feel with everything I have been though in life, I make sure to provide and do for my kids."
" all of the time what parent doesn't? ? The Caseworker for my Foster children's tells me I'm doing a great job."
- 2. Was you scared of becoming a parent, if so why?
"No I was never scared of becoming a parent until my 2nd child was born 16yrs after my first! Things have changed a LOT in that time."
" I was not scared of becoming a parent. I was READY. I was ready to teach, learn, and experience life in a whole new way with my child. Every day is a blessing. The one thing I am scared of being a parent is because of death. I am scared of her leaving this earth. I am scared of me leaving this earth. I want to see her grow up. I want to see her go to school, college, get married, have children of her own. I want to be a grandmother. I want forever with her."
" I drank an 18 pack of beer the night my wife took her pregnancy test. We had been trying to get pregnant for 5 months and had stopped trying and decided to be traditional and get married first. She was late and her boobs hurt. I was terrified we would be pregnant and terrified we wouldn't be. The next ten months I really focused in on how "my story" was no longer about "me." That is an incredibly disheartening and terrifying prospect...until you meet your child and realize everything has changed in the most wonderful way."
- 3. What is 1 thing that you said you would never do as a parent but ended up doing any how?
"I said I would never be one of those parents who would cuss at or yell at my child. I am not proud of it but I am guilty. Damn she can really get me pissed off!"
"
letting her cry it out, she expects to be the center of my attention all the time and I still have to clean house and cook and work"
" Screaming and hollering at the kids all the time and cussing them"
- 4. Has anyone ever criticized you for your parenting choices? If so what choice was it?
" My ex-wife sometimes was not happy with the way I chose to punish our child. Its only because she never had discipline as a child and did not agree with it."
" Yes by my mom. For the non stop screaming etc"
" yes I was judged by a mentally ill narcissist who was looking for something ANYTHING to criticize me because she knows being a parent is the most important element to my life and to my self. She said I yell at my kids too much. I yell, it is true, but it is NOT in any way out of the ordinary or inappropriate or unreasonable."
" yes the drunk couple up the street that don't have any kids. They tell me I need to put my kids on a harness because I let them run wild. I let them play outside & ride their bikes up & down the street. I let them play in the street because our neighborhood is so quite the only peeps that come down our stretch is the people that live on my block. I let them draw with chalk in the street.. I am outside with them when they are out there.I don't let them disrespect others or their property so F- them assholes"
- 5. Have you ever had a "bad parent" moment? If so what was it?
" yes I feel horrible when I let her cry it out and can't devotee 100% of my attention to her"
" I have gotten upset before and "blew up" before using my head. It was hard, but my child and I learned from the situation"
" She fell off the bed when she was three months. I found her struggling to stay above water when I forgot to turn the bathtub water off and turned away for a sec when she was around 2. That was a horrible what if moment. I have hurt her feelings when I am sarcastic with her on her duh moments. Sometimes I want to treat her like an older child and she isn't."
" I dropped the f bomb. Then dropped it again realizing I dropped it. I was not proud. "
"Yes. My daughter drew her fist back at me when she was 5 and my first reaction was to defend myself and I open handily smack her across the face."
- 6. Have you ever judged someone else's parenting choices? ...
" yes I have. We have been in a restaurant while the parents are pigging out & make their kids share a meal. Then when the kid ask for more they tell them no. My kids eat before I do. If they are still hungry I give them food off my plate. When a parent beat their kids in the middle of a store I want to beat that parent. There is a time & place for everything"
" Yes I have judged others parenting, or non-parenting skills! In my job I get to see and hear all kinds of good and bad situations. I don't always know what going on, just what people tell me. But some stories I have been told are just absolute crazy!!!"
" I try not to judge. I see and read stuff that I don't agree with. I don't know the circumstances behind everything that goes on in someone else's life. I may comment or have a opinion but I try not to be hateful or hurtful. I know I was judgy when I was younger and definitely before I was a parent myself."
" I am the most judgmental person ever, and don't want to be. But since I still am, grab the popcorn and a beer and lets judge everyone for an hour or two. HA! No, in all seriousness, yes I'm guilty of it. Parents who don't prioritize their children make my skin crawl, and parents who are overly permissive make my skin crawl. And people who choose spouses over their children, or who LEAVE THEIR CHILDREN IN HOT CARS make my blood boil. Also people who dress their children in ridiculous garb. Its like "Hello? That is a child not a fecking doll!" Where's the popcorn?"
I didn't ask if they choose to vaccinate or if their children were bottled or breast fed cause honestly none of that matters when it comes to being a parent. Choices like using a Harness on a 2 year old or getting your daughters ears pierced will one day not matter at all. Its the things we teach our children and the example we set for them that will shape the person they will turn out to be.
THANK YOU TO EACH OF THE 15 PARENTS FOR THEIR HONESTY!
I will tolerate no Negativity towards any questions or answers !!!
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